Hey there! Ever feel like a problem, like worry or shyness, is taking over your life? 🤔 What if I told you that the problem isn’t a part of you? It’s just a story you’ve been telling.
Let’s learn how to become a superhero of your own life story, with some cool mental tools! 🦸♀️
You Are Not the Problem
Imagine a big, cloudy monster named “Worry.” When you feel anxious, it’s not you who’s the problem—it’s the Worry monster! He’s just hanging out and trying to take over your thoughts.
Narrative Therapy is a type of therapy that helps you tell a new story about yourself. Instead of saying, “I am a shy person,” you can say, “The Shyness monster sometimes tries to stop me from making new friends.” See the difference? By giving the problem a name, you separate yourself from it. You can fight it, talk back to it, and show it who’s boss!
The goal is to go from a “problem story” to a “superhero story” where you’re the main character with all the power.
Your Brain’s Super-Toolkit
Now, to fight those pesky problem monsters, you need some mental superpowers! 💪 These come from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and they’re like tools you can use every day.
- Your Thoughts Aren’t Always Facts: Have you ever thought, “Everyone is judging me right now”? That’s a thought, not a fact. Dr. LuAnn Helms says to imagine your thoughts are like leaves floating down a river. Just watch them go by. You don’t have to grab onto every single one. You’re in charge of how much energy you give them.
- Become a Detective of Your Feelings: A situation doesn’t cause a feeling; your interpretation of it does. If a friend doesn’t text you back, you might feel sad and think, “They must be mad at me.” But what if they’re just busy or their phone died? The way you “read” the situation can change your emotions. Try asking yourself: “What am I telling myself about this?”
- See the Whole Picture: The story of the “Blind Men and the Elephant” is a perfect example. One person touches the elephant’s leg and thinks it’s a tree trunk. Another touches its tail and thinks it’s a rope. They’re both right from their point of view, but they’re both missing the big picture! Sometimes, when you’re stuck on one idea, try to think of five other ways to see the situation. This helps you get around the whole “elephant” and see a bigger, more helpful picture.
- Choose Your Actions: Your feelings might make you want to do something, but you have the power to pause and choose. Just because you feel angry doesn’t mean you have to yell. Take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to choose a different, more helpful action. Think of yourself as a superhero choosing your next move.
- Be Your Own Best Friend: The way we talk to ourselves can be pretty harsh. Would you ever say to a friend, “You’re so stupid”? Of course not! We need to be kind to ourselves. When a negative thought pops up, try saying the opposite, even if you don’t believe it at first. Over time, you’ll build new, more positive pathways in your brain.
First-Time Voter? Your Mind Can Help!
Voting for the first time can feel overwhelming, but it’s one of the biggest ways to use your superpower to shape the world. Think of it as choosing a story for your community or country. You get to decide which values and ideas you want to support.
- Don’t Get Stuck on One Perspective: Just like the elephant, political issues are huge and complex. A single news clip or social media post is only one part of the story. Use your “shifting perspectives” skill to look at an issue from multiple angles before you make a decision.
- Watch Out for “Political Monsters”: You’ll hear lots of loud, angry “problem stories” from different sources. Some of them might be fueled by misinformation (thoughts that aren’t facts!). Use your “thought observation” skill to let the noise pass by. You can let yourself feel confused or annoyed without letting it control your actions.
- Choose a Behavior That Matters: It’s easy to feel like one vote won’t make a difference. But remember that voting is an action that aligns with the person you want to be—an engaged citizen who cares about their community. Don’t wait to feel motivated; go vote because it’s a behavior that creates the future you want.
Put It All Together
You have the power to change your life story. You can use your mental tools to challenge the problems and build a new narrative that shows just how amazing and capable you are. Remember, you’re not defined by your problems—you’re defined by your strengths, your values, and the superhero story you choose to live. ✨
Reference
- Narrative Therapy with Children by Stephen Madigan PhD
- Cognitive Behavioral Tools by Dr. LuAnn Helms, Psychologist – Part of Series of Stress management and wellness
- Caught in the Narrative: Deconstructing Political Media’s Impact on Individuals and Teens
Book Recommendations for Further Reading:
- White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.
- Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press. This is a fundamental text for understanding the principles and applications of CBT.
- Morgan, A. (2000). What is Narrative Therapy?: An Easy-to-Read Introduction. Dulwich Centre Publications.
- Padesky, C. A., & Greenberger, D. (1995). Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. The Guilford Press. This is an excellent workbook that provides practical, child-friendly exercises for applying cognitive-behavioral principles.
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