Hey awesome humans! Have you ever felt like you needed that new gadget or that you had to follow a certain trend? Sometimes, these feelings come from inside us, but other times, they’re planted there by something else: the media.
Think about it. We’re surrounded by screens – phones, tablets, TVs. They show us tons of information, from funny cat videos to the latest news. But sometimes, the people creating this media have a specific goal in mind. They want you to think a certain way, buy a certain thing, or believe a certain idea.
Sounds a bit sneaky, right? It can be! And that’s why it’s super important to understand how they try to influence us so we can protect our own thoughts and make our own decisions.
Let’s think about it like this:
“One person is determined to get their way. They use power and control to do so. They use a continuous pattern of behaviours over time. The behaviours are intended to dominate and to win. The behaviours are aimed at being right at all costs.”
This might sound like someone you know, maybe even a character in a story. But guess what? Sometimes, media can act in a similar way! They might constantly show you the same message over and over again, trying to convince you that their way is the only way.
This kind of constant pressure can feel a lot like “Coercive Control – how to spot it”. It’s not about physical force, but about slowly shaping your thoughts and feelings without you even realizing it.
Think about those ads that pop up everywhere, showing you the “perfect” body or the “must-have” item. They keep showing them to you, trying to make you feel like you need these things to be happy or accepted.
The true danger of coercive control is that it teaches you to control yourself. Eventually the abuser no longer even needs to abuse, because you have fully internalised the abuse, abusing yourself. – Luke and Ryan Hart
This quote is powerful. When media constantly tells you what to think or how to be, you might start believing it yourself, even if it’s not really what you want. You might start judging yourself based on these unrealistic standards.
This isn’t just annoying; it can actually be harmful. “It is (psychological) abuse that may lead to mental illness and attempts at self harm, including suicide attempts, and may never present in physical injury. – Lyn Shipway, A Handbook for Health Care Professionals”. Our minds are precious, and we need to protect them from negative influences.
So, how does media try to control us? Here are some tactics to watch out for:
- Isolation: They might try to make you feel like you’re missing out if you don’t follow a certain trend or use a certain product, subtly isolating you from your own preferences. “Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support…” Think about those “everyone’s doing it” messages.
- Exploiting your desires: They know what you care about – fitting in, being cool, having fun. They use these desires to sell you things or ideas.
- Depriving you of independence: By constantly telling you what’s “in” or “out,” they can make you feel like you can’t make your own choices.
- Regulating your everyday behaviour: Think about social media trends that dictate what you should wear, say, or even do.
Sometimes, these tactics can be subtle. “Outsiders might not see coercive control because the perp wants to control the family — but not outsiders, so behaves differently to both. Coercive control is slow deformation of the victims. The perpetrator’s behaviours may not leak out, but can be seen in the victim’s self-limiting behaviours.” – Luke and Ryan Hart. Just like in real life, media manipulation might not be obvious to everyone, but you might notice yourself feeling pressured or unsure of your own thoughts.
“Coercive behaviour is: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.” (UK Home Office) While media might not physically threaten you, constant negative messages or online bullying can definitely feel like an attack on your self-esteem.
So, how do we take back control of our minds?
- Be aware: The first step is knowing that these tactics exist. Start paying attention to how media makes you feel. Does it make you happy and inspired, or does it make you feel insecure or pressured?
- Question everything: Don’t just believe everything you see and hear. Ask yourself: “Why are they showing me this?”, “Who benefits from me believing this?”, “Is this really true, or just one perspective?”.
- Seek different perspectives: Don’t rely on just one source of information. Explore different websites, talk to different people, and form your own opinions.
- Trust your gut: If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t let media pressure you into doing or believing something that doesn’t feel right to you.
- Take breaks: It’s okay to step away from your screens sometimes. Give your mind a chance to breathe and think for itself.
- Talk to someone: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or confused by media messages, talk to a trusted adult – a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend.
Remember, “Victims may be conditioned to control themselves, such that the perpetrator rarely needs to act out. This does not mean the victims are not at risk. In fact it may mean the perpetrator is very effective and dangerous.” – Luke and Ryan Hart. Just because you start to believe the messages doesn’t mean they’re good for you.
Your mind is an amazing and powerful thing. Don’t let anyone, including the media, take control of it. Be curious, be critical, and most importantly, be yourself! You have the power to decide what you think and believe. Use it wisely!