Hey awesome kids and teens! Have you ever seen something online that made you go, “Hmm, that doesn’t feel right?” Maybe it was a super dramatic video from someone famous on social media, or a website trying to scare you into clicking a button. Sometimes, there are people called “trickers” who try to spread ideas or get you to do things that aren’t good for you. And sometimes, even cool-seeming influencers are just trying to sell you stuff you don’t really need!
But guess what? You have a superpower inside you to deal with this! It’s called shining your spine and protecting your peace. Sounds cool, right? This idea comes from a therapist who helps people stand up for themselves. Let’s dive in!
What are Trickers and Their Tricks?
Think of trickers like people who try to play sneaky games with your mind. They might use:
- Propaganda: This is like spreading information (sometimes not true!) to make you believe something specific. It could be about what to think, who to like, or what to be afraid of.
- Scare Tactics: They might try to frighten you with scary stories or fake news to make you act without thinking.
- Peer Pressure: They might make it seem like everyone else is doing something, so you feel like you have to too, even if it feels wrong.
Sometimes, trickers might even try to get you to participate in protests or activities that could be harmful to you. They might:
- Make it sound really exciting and important: Like you’re part of something big and cool.
- Use peer pressure: Saying things like “Everyone is doing it!” or “You’ll be left out if you don’t join.”
- Promise you things: Like fame, popularity, or a feeling of power.
- Hide the real dangers: Not telling you about the risks involved, like getting hurt, getting into trouble with the law, or feeling really stressed and anxious.
- Target your emotions: Making you feel really angry or passionate about something so you act without thinking.
And what about those social media influencers?
While many influencers are awesome and share fun stuff, some might:
- Push products really hard: Even if they don’t actually love them, just to make money.
- Create unrealistic expectations: Showing perfect lives that aren’t real, which can make you feel bad about yourself.
- Encourage trends that might be harmful: Just for likes and views.
Why is it Important to Say “No” or Just Ignore?
Falling for these tricks can make you feel:
- Confused and worried: Especially if you see scary or untrue things.
- Like you’re not good enough: If you compare yourself to unrealistic online images.
- Pressured to do things you don’t want to: Just to fit in or because someone famous said so.
- Like you’ve wasted your time and maybe even your money!
That’s why it’s super important to learn how to say “no” to these tricks and protect your own peace of mind.
Shine Your Spine – Your Inner Strength!
Imagine your spine as a strong, straight line inside you that helps you stand tall and feel confident. When you “shine your spine,” it means you’re finding your inner strength to:
- Trust your gut: If something feels wrong, it probably is!
- Say “no” when you need to: You don’t have to do everything everyone else is doing.
- Protect your own feelings: You deserve to feel happy and secure.
- Make your own choices: Based on what you think is right for you.
This idea of “shining your spine” is like having the courage to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, even when it’s tough.
How to Shine Your Spine and Protect Your Peace Online:
Here are some ways you can shine your spine when you’re online, inspired by advice from a therapist:
- Notice What Makes You Feel Yucky AND What Seems Too Intense: Pay attention to what you see online that makes you feel worried, sad, pressured, or just plain weird. Also, be careful of things that seem too intense or make you feel like you have to act right now without thinking. Ask yourself:
- Does this make me feel scared or anxious for no good reason?
- Am I being pressured to click on something or share it right away?
- Does this seem too good to be true?
- Does this make me feel like I have to do something dangerous or that could get me in trouble?
- Are they making me feel really angry or upset and telling me to go out and do something without thinking it through?
- Practice Saying “No” or “I’m Not Interested”: Just like the grown-ups in the therapist’s examples who learned to say “no” to things they didn’t want to do, you can learn to say “no” online. You don’t have to click on every link, watch every video, or follow every trend. You can simply ignore it or say to yourself, “Nope, not for me!” Sometimes, as the therapist says, “‘no’ is a complete sentence.”
- Build Your Awesome Confidence: Remind yourself that your own thoughts and feelings matter. Say these things to yourself:
- “My feelings are important.”
- “I can make my own decisions.”
- “It’s okay to disagree with what I see online.”
- “I am smart and can figure things out.”
- Be Like a Detective – Check Things Out! If you see something that seems strange or unbelievable, don’t just believe it right away. Ask yourself:
- Where did this information come from? Is it a reliable source?
- Are other people saying the same thing?
- Does it sound like something that could actually happen?
- Talk to Someone You Trust: If you’re ever unsure about something you see online, talk to a grown-up you trust, like your parents, teachers, or another family member. They can help you figure things out. It’s especially important to talk to a trusted adult if you see anything online that encourages you to participate in protests or activities that seem risky or harmful. They can help you understand the situation better and make sure you stay safe. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
- Think About the Real-Life Consequences: Before getting involved in any protest or activity you see online, take a moment to think about what could really happen. Could you get hurt? Could you get in trouble with your parents or the school? Could it make you feel really stressed out or scared afterwards?
What’s a Boundary Online?
Think of a boundary as an invisible line that protects you. Online, a boundary could be:
- “I won’t click on links from people I don’t know.”
- “I won’t share personal information with strangers online.”
- “If a video makes me feel really bad, I will stop watching it.”
It’s about YOU taking action to keep yourself safe and happy, not telling other people what to do. As the therapist explains, boundaries are about your actions to protect your emotional safety and well-being.
The Awesome Benefits of Shining Your Spine Online:
When you learn to shine your spine online, you’ll:
- Feel more confident and in control.
- Have more time and energy for things you actually enjoy.
- Be less likely to fall for tricks and scams.
- Feel better about yourself and your own life.
- Have more real and meaningful connections with friends and family.
What to Expect from Trickers (They Might Not Like It!)
Just like in the grown-up story, when you start saying “no” to tricks, the trickers might not be happy about it. They might try to:
- Make you feel guilty: “But everyone else is doing it!”
- Get angry or call you names: If you don’t believe them.
- Try harder to trick you: With even more dramatic stories or fake offers.
But remember, their reactions are not your problem! You are in charge of your own spine and your own peace.
You’ve Got This!
Learning to shine your spine and protect your peace online is a super important skill. Trust your gut, ask questions, talk to trusted adults, and remember that you are strong and smart. You have the right to say “no” to anything that feels wrong or unsafe, whether it’s a silly online trend or something that could put you in harm’s way. Stand tall, shine bright, and enjoy the amazing things the internet has to offer while staying safe, healthy, and happy!
Source:
Palumbo, Lauren. “Shine Your Spine and Protect Your Peace: A Therapist’s Guide to Boundaries.” Clarity Therapy NYC, https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/shine-your-spine-and-protect-your-peace-a-therapists-guide-to-boundaries/